Dear Joe,

Ever since I’ve been your avid fan and I even love to listen to your love notes episodes on the radio. I heard your advices from your listeners and I know they are good so I wrote to you to seek an advice and help me with my problem.

Just call me ghie. I broke up with boy friend – Hon for 8 years last January, because I got tired of him and his immaturities. He is too controlling, too jealous, and too insecure and he does not trust me anymore. I understand him Joe, because he’s been job less since he graduated from college. I know the feeling he is feeling right now but every time he got jealous over someone or something, he will say bad words to me to the point that I lost my pride and dignity. I decided to break up with him to preserve my pride and dignity as a person. I’ve given my all to him and none was left to me. And I think it’s time for me to become happy and regain what was lost to me. It is also because some friends told me that I am still young and there are a lot out there who could love me and give me respect as a person. Until I realized that my friends are right. I have an officemate – Drew, he is one my batch mates in the office. We started out as close friends last 2008, and we even find ourselves confiding our own problems with each other. Until March last year he admitted to me that he is fallen for me and what he felt for me is beyond friendship. But, he is too afraid to tell me of his feelings because it is too complicated since I am in a relationship with Hon at that time. And it’s because he sees that I love Hon so much at that time. Yes, I really love my boy friend so much at that time. However, I know there is something between Drew and I. I am happy when he is around, I am happy when he shows concern and I felt more appreciated, likewise, I miss his “kakulitan” when he is on leave or day off. But I hold back the feelings and regret that I am just overwhelmed of the things and feelings he is showing me and maybe just maybe I am longing to feel that feeling which Hon is not giving me. Also, I don’t want to put our friendships at risk that’s why I keep on holding back my feelings for him. For three months last year Hon and I lost contact with each other. I keep on texting Hon trying to work out our relationship and save the 8 years we spent with each other. But, there were no replies from him. I keep on calling Hon but the only answer I always got from him is his stupid excuses “tinatamad akong magtext at kausap ka”, but he has all the time for his internet hobby. His excuses makes me we weak. It’s like someone poured out cold water over me. I got tired of his excuses and decided to just let it that way. December last year I decided to accept Drew’s invitation for a date and decided to let go of the feelings with Hon. January this year I finally decided to break up with Hon and gave Drew a chance. It was a tough decision to let go of that 8 year relationship but what can I do I am not happy anymore.
Currently, I am happy with Drew. I felt contented, secured and loved. However, there are times that I feel guilty that I left Hon at his worst, he is job less and I am the only one who can understand him.

Please help me, Joe. Is my decision of leaving Hon right? Am I too bad to left him; is it right that I broke up with him without giving him another chance to prove his love for me? I am confused. I am in love now with Drew but I feel guilty that I left Hon.

Thank you so much.

Sincerely yours,
Ghie